


The Morning After ---Ross

by Genie60



Category: Poldark (TV 2015)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-08-09 23:41:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7821781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Genie60/pseuds/Genie60
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ross' thoughts after his night with Demelza.  </p>
<p>What to do now?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Morning After ---Ross

As she rode away, Ross felt a surprising sense of relief.  It was not what he expected and yet was glad it came.  When he originally saw her head towards Nampara as he was working the fields with Jud, he questioned why she was coming.  Had something else happened between her and Francis to bring her to him again? Another chance for her to play with his mind and feelings?  He admitted he could be dim where women were concerned but lately it was becoming clear that it seemed to be the case with only some women. 

He looked back at the house and decided he couldn’t go in to face Demelza just yet and so headed to the barn to continue the physical labor he thought his mind and body needed.  And to clear his head from all that had happened in the past 24 hours. Perched on the step of the barn he honed the sickle in the hopes that that the mundane work would act as a therapeutic.

The visit from Elizabeth was disconcerting, but not in the usual way. In the past it was his feelings that  he couldn’t figure out.  This time it was hers; her conversation about mining, her concern for Jim and then the analysis of marriage?  What was she playing at?   When she told him months ago about her pregnancy, the light had dawned and he realized finally that she was no longer his to pine for. He accepted that and made an effort to move on with his own life; one that included restarting a mine so that his people could work.  He also allowed himself to enjoy life, which seemed to include a certain red head kitchen maid who was so unlike women such as Elizabeth he was thrown as to how to handle her.  He realized that not all were women were like Elizabeth who lived for praise and admiration.  Some were open and honest and free, that didn’t need “figuring out”.  They are what they are, make no apologies for it and expect you to accept them as is.  Demelza was of that kind and to Ross that was a new concept.  That is until they do something so out of character that it throws you off balance, you have to hide out in a barn until you can face the inevitable.

Last night proved to be the kind of out of character event that he was not prepared for and certainly didn’t expect from Demelza.  The initial shockwaves that came from kissing her set the rest of the night in motion.  Never had he felt that kind of unbridled desire; it came from the depths of his soul, out of pain for what happened to Jim and found its way to solace in the arms of a young woman, who up until that point, only appeared as fleeting and untouchable thoughts.  Her kisses were honest and wild, like she was, given with all she had, no holding back.  Nothing like the chaste and proper kisses he had shared with Elizabeth before he left.  Now thinking back to those memories he wondered why he thought they were what he wanted upon his return.  He left his gentrified Cornish gentleman persona on the battlefields of Virginia. The man he was now was more grounded and realistic.  The trimmings and niceties of his “class” left him empty and unfulfilled. 

When Demelza came to him, he had no idea how the night would end or what she would do to him.  This earthy, free girl, who started out with him as an urchin, showed him what there was in life to be taken.  In a few hours, she had filled a gap he didn’t know was empty.  And now he had to decide if he wanted to go back to an existence that lacked passion or to take a chance on something that would be unconventional and most likely unwelcomed in the eyes of his peers.  Ross wondered why he was even questioning himself.  Since when did he care what others thought?  He didn’t care what his father thought which is what led him to join the Army and fight; so why was he second guessing his instincts now?

Ross stopped what he was doing and took a minute to gather his thoughts.  There were only a couple of scenarios that could play out after what occurred between himself and Demelza.  The first was what most men in his position did, which is go on as if nothing had changed, leave her to work in his kitchen during the day and warm his bed at night. Any consequences that might follow would be dealt with discreetly.  He would probably gain some admirers for actually acting like a man in his position would; wife in the parlor, mistress in his bed. But he had no wife and no one who was interested, such as the determined Ruth Teague, interested him.

He could let her go. She had learned a lot and could most likely find work anywhere.  He could send her back to Illugan and her family but that would be crueler than the first option. 

If he were honest with himself there was only one option that he could live with and he hoped she would accept.  He would marry her.  It wasn’t the conventional choice but it was the choice he found the most affable.  It was clear there was a connection between himself and Demelza.  Their friendship had blossomed over the months so he knew he could trust her.  He had confided in her when there was no one else he felt would listen or understand. She accepted his life and the meagerness with which he lived. No other woman in his class could be expected to be brought down to this basic existence of a poor squire’s wife.  And she had already woven her way into this life so that would cause any change on that front. Finally, there was the physical and emotional attraction that came to fruition in middle of the night, when after the initial joining of their bodies, he awoke to find her looking at him with longing.  He took her again, this time allowing himself to feel the sentiments that he kept bottled up afraid to release.  Those thoughts did not involve Elizabeth or Jim; they centered on the girl underneath him who gave of herself without reservation or embarrassment.  He remembered how her body rose to meet his and how her face was unguarded.  For an instant he thought he saw glimmers of love behind those blue eyes, but shook that thought away as he let himself be swallowed up by her. No need to complicate matters with that just yet.

Now as he walked back to the house, he was determined that marriage to Demelza was the right thing to do.  He would find her and convince her that this was what was best for both of them, when in reality it was what was best for him. To end his lonliness, to ease the ache of a wound that seemed to take forever to heal and to satisfy an appetite he didn’t know he had.  Any doubts were put aside as he gathered his thoughts before speaking to her.

He looked for her in the parlor and only saw the wilting bunch of cornflowers on the table.  Going into the kitchen he asked Jud and Prudie where she was and was given a short and unexpected answer.

“She’s gone.”

**Author's Note:**

> This has been laying on my computer for awhile and decided to revive it.
> 
> Demelza's version to come....


End file.
